I find it hard to believe that I will be turning 60 years old in just a few days. How did this happen??
When I was in my 20’s, 30’s and even 40’s~~ 60 seemed so old…and yet here I am and I don’t feel old,and I definitely don’t feel like a senior citizen, (however that is supposed to feel).
I will say this though, there are a certain perks that come with living this long… I don’t know if the age of 60 has brought me wisdom about the world as I continue to find chaos and uncertainty on planet earth, what I do know is that it has brought me the awareness of who I am, what my truth is, my authentic self. I know my shadow, and have come to accept that shadow as part of me and yes even loving those very parts that before this I thought were unlovable. I also accept and have awareness of my unique talents and gifts and am so grateful to be able and willing to share those gifts.
I have reached the place of knowing that I don’t have to please everyone else, but rather to be pleasing to everyone else and have realized that I cannot offer that if I am not in the experience of being pleased. There is something be said for kindness and compassion, to be pleasant to strangers and loved ones alike. To give a smile when sometimes a frown may be easier, to give your time, your attention, your presence to those who cross your path, knowing that the most important thing is our connection to one another as well as our connection to ourselves. There is a place within me that seeks to find the sacred within me as well as within others, regardless of race, religion, or political ideology.
I have discovered that the true heroes in my life are my 3 children, who I have watched from their very first breath, it is through them that I have learned the most. I have watched them evolve and become the people that they are. I have witnessed their journey of strength in times of great loss, of their kindness and compassion to each other and to me when there has been struggles and hardship in our family. They have been through their own treacherous paths that they have had to navigate and yet through it all they are loving and generous, they are fun and funny, open, optimistic positive thinkers, and they are ever so loyal and respectful to me. Jesse, Elijah and Maria are my greatest gifts and my greatest teachers. I am grateful to them and for them every single day.
When I look back on my life I see where I made choices that may not have been the best choices to make, and yet knowing that at the time I did the best that I could allows me not to regret, not to feel guilt, to be forgiving of myself , to accept the consequences of those actions. Those mistakes or lessons (one and the same) have allowed me to understand responsibility, forgiveness and compassion of oneself, without that how could I possibly feel that towards another. To be in a healthy relationship with myself and others I needed these lessons and I am finally able to be grateful for them.
I know that each day we are given the gift to begin again, that we are blessed with the ability to create the lives that we most desire to live with just having the decision to do so. Sometimes that may be having a attitude adjustment and sometimes it may mean taking some uncomfortable action steps. The most important of all is to have purpose and passion when creating what we want. I recently made that decision, had an attitude adjustment and took some uncomfortable steps when I moved to Virginia a few months ago. I left the home that I had known for the past 40 plus years, left my children, friends and family because I felt called to change my life. I felt that my life had become too ‘comfortable’ and that I had become complacent, and that I had become too attached to my patterns and ways of being. I knew that there was something that I needed to experience in spite of some opinions that I was a little nuts. It was and is a big risk, both financially and physically and I must admit that I wanted to give up and go back home more than a couple of times. What I am learning most is how strong I am, how capable I am, and how that when all is said and done all of the things we think we ‘can’t’ do or ‘shouldn’t’ do are just limitations that we put on ourselves. We are never too old or too stuck, or too comfortable that we can’t do what we are being called to do and follow where our hearts are leading us.
For me this new decade is one of discovery, not only the discovery of a new route to work, or of finding another Whole Foods closer to me, it’s the discovery of being in absolute wonder and awe of the new experiences, people and places that each day brings to me, knowing without a doubt that they are the ones that my vibration, my being is attracting because of the Light within me. I am so grateful that my life has brought me to this place of knowing and I look forward to what happens next. Life is just beginning. And at age 60 that is an amazing gift.